I get to wondering if my birth mother is thinking about me on my birthday. I do not get sad because I wish I was with her or that I want to know her. I consider my parents, my "real parents." I couldn't and wouldn't change anything, I love them to death. Being a mother, on Jacob's bday, I always think back to the day I had him, all these special memories I have. I get sad thinking about my birth mother's feelings on my birthday. Every year does she regret her decision, does she mourn, does she feel guilty about her choice, does she wonder where I am, what I am doing, does she not care at all, has she moved on and forgotten July 5 1980? All these thoughts. I have no control over how she feels, I cannot make her feel less guilt, if that is what she has. I can't thank her for making the choice to put me up for adoption rather than aborting me.
So, each year on my birthday I say a little prayer for her. I want her to be content and know I am in an awesome family and I love her for making a hard and noble decision 29 years ago. thank you baby mama...
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